One week on…

Well, that was quite a week.

Exactly seven days ago, I was sitting on the stage of the Glad Cafe, mid-sound check. I think that, by that time, most of my nerves had dissipated — mainly because I had already reached a state of nervous exhaustion!

With the benefit of hindsight, distance and rest, I think that the gig went very well (I’ve put some photos on various pages of this website). We had a great crowd to play for — I think I probably new 90% of them personally. That was a blessing, in the sense that I knew everyone was very supportive. But it also brought its own pressure, especially when singing those songs that are more personal or confessional.

In technical terms, I might have played and sung a little better in the livestream solo rehearsal (which is still available to watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOz04jeHYNo) than in the gig itself. But there is absolutely no question that James on electric guitar and Dan on keyboards provided a much richer sound for both me and the audience. I thoroughly enjoyed playing with them, as well as with my special guest vocalists (Alison and Saskia).

Perhaps the most satisfying thing about the whole experience was the feeling that the songs (and the stories behind them) were really being heard; and that they seemed to connect with the audience. There was a lot of lovely feedback on the night, but I’ve also a number of very thoughtful texts and emails, including from people who had never heard me or my songs before. That alone makes me want to do it all again.

But that said, it was completely exhausting. I think that what really drained me was not the anxiety about performing, but rather the emotional labour in doing so. The songs really connected with me too, in a new way, when I was sharing them with a live audience. I wasn’t expecting that — and the weight of it hit me a couple of days later, in a work meeting in Liverpool, when I just felt completely drained. Staring out of the window for 4 or 5 hours on the train home, and then spending 11 hours in bed that night, helped — but, even now, I’m still tired.

And what of Bloodrush? Well, the song is out there in the world doing tis thing, and it is also one week old. Spotify tells me that almost 3,000 different people have streamed it, around about 5,500 times so far. Most of them seem to be in the USA. 120 of them are now following me and so, presumably, might want to hear more music. I guess that feels like a start (though if you do want to follow me, you’d be better advised to do so on Bandcamp: https://fergusmcneill.bandcamp.com/releases)

So, the next question becomes: How and when will I record more songs?

Answers on a postcard please.

Fx